I was dating a girl once, I liked her. She was one of the first girls that I've ever dated where I didn't have some fairy-tale story behind meeting her, pursuing her and falling in love with her. I'm a storyteller by profession and I've always loved telling people elaborate detailed romantic stories on girls I like, liked or am currently pursuing. So one time, while I was dating this one particular girl, a good friend of me asked me with excitement "so tell me about this girl, what do you like about her?" I couldn't answer. I hated that I couldn't answer. I liked her and this was one of the first times I couldn't convince anyone else of the reasons that I did. Before I was always able to tell a story and by the end everyone that would listen would be on board with me, agreeing of the reasons why I should like a particular girl. I wish I could say that I stood my ground and continued to like her, but I let that affect it. I started to think that if I couldn't explain it to someone else, then it wasn't legit.
I think God took me through that to prepare me for the season of life that I'm in now. For anyone that has been reading my blogs, I've been pretty honest with my doubts and desert experience. I've been walking out of this desert, but in doing so, I'm starting from scratch, which has been great. Because I've always been someone that has been so dependent on theology and doctrines and whatever else you can study and 'get good at'. So what I'm convinced of is that God has been detoxing me of all of that, showing me what's important.
So where I'm at now is back to not really being able to explain my faith, but I have it. And I feel that I went through that with that girl to teach me the lesson on a less important aspect of my life (a relationship with a girl) so I knew it when it came to the important aspect (my relationship with God) I'd know how to react. Not being able to explain something doesn't make it any less true. It's discouraging, but knowing that truth really helps you not to let it affect your faith.
Faith is an assurance. It's also a loyalty. It's a confidence in something, so it makes a lot of sense that when you start to realize you can't explain your faith in something, you lose a little bit of confidence/faith in that thing.
When you get in a helicopter you might get in with full confidence in that machine, but if someone asked you to explain how it works, you might start freaking out if it doesn't make sense to you.
But knowing how faith works in that sense shows us how important it is to try to work towards a point where we can explain it a bit more. It'll grow our faith, our confidence in God. But if you can't explain it just now, don't let it discourage you, it's separate, it doesn't make you less of a Christian.
I have faith in God. I might not be able to explain it like I used to. But I'll get there, how do I know that? I'm not sure, I just know, I can't explain it.